Dear Kelly ,
More often than not I find myself focused on
a particular "tree" and forget the importance of
taking a step back to look at the forest and
regain that oh so important sense of perspective
and awareness of the interconnectedness to
ourselves, our family and friends, our community
and our world. It is this connectedness that
enables us, day after day to do the work of
building healthy relationships, families and
communities free from domestic violence and sexual
assault. Work, we would not be able to do
were it not for the tremendous support of you, our
community partners. Simply put, The Center is
thriving, our clients are healing, education is
happening because you make it so!
As I survey the forest, I see tremendous
growth, awareness and collaboration culminating in
new thought and new energy with the potential to
have an unlimited positive impact on domestic
violence and sexual assault across the
state. This spring, Blue Shield of
California Foundation in partnership with the
Women's Foundation of California, Jemmott Rollins
Group, and Compass Point Nonprofit Services have
launched the Strong Field Project (SFP). SFP
is a four year effort aimed at building a strong
coordinated network of domestic violence service
providers in California. The Center was
invited to apply for funding and I am happy to
report that we have made it to the final stage of
a rigorous application process.
Similarly, The Center has 20 new volunteers
working their way through our redesigned, state of
art volunteer training program. Their
commitment, dedication and willingness to
challenge themselves and their belief systems as
they learn about what it takes to be an effective
volunteer is inspiring. This new class of
volunteers will join with us and increase the
effectiveness, quality and amount of services we
can provide to our clients!
Be sure to read about the amazing
opportunity the El Dorado Community Foundation has
provided The Center to increase the impact we have
with children living in homes and families where
domestic violence is occurring. The Second
Generation Project is very exciting and much
needed in our community. More
information on this project is found later in the
newsletter.
Together we are experiencing exciting times
full of opportunity to truly make a difference in
the lives of our clients, their families and in
our community. Thank you to each of you who
support our efforts and for those that are
considering partnering with us, we welcome you and
encourage you to take that next step today!
Sincerely,
Executive director
(530)626-1450
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Fathering with a
Purpose |
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By: Eddie Zacapa
MAAP
Coordinator
The Zacapa
Family
 | As a parent it is
important to love our kids. This seems obvious but
many times is forgotten in the day to day hustle
of life. Some reflection on this may help us to
remember why this is so important.
Donald
Miller in his book Searching for God Knows What
writes about the affects of a child not having
love in his life.
"If a kid doesn't
feel he is loved, he is going to go looking for it
in all kinds of ways. He is going to want to feel
powerful and important or tough, and she is going
to want to feel beautiful and wanted and needed.
Give a kid the feeling of being loved early, and
they will be better at negotiating that other
stuff when they get older. They won't fall for
anything stupid, and they won't feel a kind of
desperation all the time in their
souls."
As a domestic violence
counselor and program coordinator of the Men's
Alternatives to Abusive Patterns program here at
The Center, I have found that many times the root
cause of unhealthy behavior comes from a deep void
that was left from the person's childhood. Many
times the void is a father missing the mark on
loving the child and letting them know that they
matter.
We can let our kids know
they matter to us by showing them affection,
writing them a letter, playing with them,
supporting them and their endeavors, affirming
them and telling them how they have touched our
life in an impactful way.
Another thing we can do as fathers
is to receive their love and affection. Sometimes
we may be tired from a long day at work and our
child wants to play with us, share a story from
school or sing us a song. These are moments when
we can be there for them and receive their gift to
connection with us. Being present is essential in
effective parenting.
I recall fondly
one occasion when I was heading to work and my son
Andrew, who was five years old at the time, came
up to me and said, "Daddy I want to give you a hug
before you go."
Eddie with his son
Andrew
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He proceeded to come up
and hug my leg. As he wrapped his arms around my
right leg he kissed my leg twice. I bent down and
gave him a hug and kissed his head. I was so moved
by this spontaneous gesture of affection. I
decided to include this in my journal. I told
myself, "I feel grateful that my son Andrew hugged
me today because it met my need for connection, to
matter to someone and to receive
affection."
I really
took in this gift and soaked it in by documenting
it and expressing what needs where met by this
event. It is good to reflect on the positive
things that are happening in our life because it
motivates us to keep tending and cultivating them.
My father once told me about a
conversation that he had with a co-worker. He said
that the co-worker told him that he wished he
could be as rich as my father. My father looked at
him confused and asked, "What do you mean?" The
co-worker said, "You have a beautiful family. You
are the richest person I know."
If
we take care of our family and tend to it with
care we will have riches and treasures that cannot
compare to material riches. I strongly desire to
invest in my family and see my children grow into
reflections of God's love and grace. I desire to
see this lived out in millions of homes. I believe
that we can change the world one family at a time
if we focus on family and commit to doing the hard
work.
I wish all fathers a very special
Father's Day and I hope to encourage fathers to do
the hard work of being present and affectionate
with their children. May you be a father who has
the courage to affirm, to encourage and be there
when your children need you.
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The Center
Awarded grant from The El Dorado Community
Foundation |
|
In May, The Center was awarded a grant from
The El Dorado Community Foundation for our Second
Generation Project. This project is facilitating,
the healing of the entire family through
intervention/prevention education counseling to
stop the inter-generational transmission of
violence.
 The Second
Generation Project will include the development,
implementation and evaluation of a group based
comprehensive counseling program specific to youth
and their family members who have experienced
family violence. Exposure to domestic
violence has a significant negative impact on a
child's emotional, social and cognitive
development. If left unaddressed, this
exposure will have long term consequences on a
child's well-being that ultimately will affect
their ability to function as healthy adults.
The Second Generation Project meets the need for
critical intervention in the lives of these
children and is the next step to expand our
counseling services and address the specific needs
of the secondary victims - children that reside in
homes with violence. 30-60% of
domestic violence cases have children in the homes
and 50% of batters also abuse their
children. Currently, there are no counseling
services for children in El Dorado County that
specifically address the dynamics that exist in
homes with domestic violence. The group
counseling provided through the Second Generation
Project will provide the peer support and bonding
needed to assist children in understanding they
are not alone. The Center is excited
to have this opportunity to serve children, and
this was made possible by The El Dorado Community
Foundation's dedication to this community and the
non-profit organizations within
it. If you would like to know more
about the Second Generation Project please contact
Emma Owens or Matt Huckabay at (530)626-1450 or
email at emmao@thecenternow.org and math@thecenternow.org.
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Community March
to Stop Sexual Assault was a Great
Event! |
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The Center For
Violence-free Relationships held the Community
March to Stop Sexual Assault on April 24th and it
was a huge success! With over 150+
participants and great sponsors like Blue Shield
of California, the event generated over $21,000
and helped raise awareness about sexual assault in
our community. The morning started out with
Matt Huckabay, the Center's Executive Director,
delivering a thoughtful and inspiring message
concerning sexual assault in our community.
The March used
to be called "Walk a Mile in Her Shoes" and the
tradition of men wearing women's high heeled shoes
during the event has become somewhat of a
tradition. With people placing bids to see
their friends walk in the famous "Golden
Slippers," the day started off with a bang! Jim
Ellsworth, Medical Director for the El Dorado
Community Health Center, had his team bidding to
see him wear some lovely red high
heels.
Along with The El Dorado
Community Health Center, teams formed all over the
community to support the event and raise
awareness. Some of the
teams/sponsors included Blue Shield of California,
two teams from Folsom Lake College, the El Dorado
Newcomer's Club, Scangarella Painting, E Clampus
Vitus Outpost #49, The Hurley Group, Marshall
Foundation Sexual Assault Response Team, Jana and
Ray Pingle, Spisak Family and Friends, Mike and
Judy Vonada and the Diamond Springs Group.
All in all, the event was lots of fun and a
huge success.
Article by Julie Sena for
questions call her at (530)62601450 or email her
at julies@thecenternow.org!
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Family Trout
Fishing Derby was a Fun Family
Day |
Saturday, May 22
The folks that came out for the
Family Trout Fishing Derby on Saturday May 22nd,
came prepared with their parkas and fur
hats! The day started out sunny but chilly
and ended up with snow falling on the participant
as they collected their winnings from the
raffle. Dale Daneman of Dale's Foothill
Fishing and his crew did a great job of keeping
things moving despite the inclement
weather and announced the winners in the
Adult and Junior categories with Tim Wilkerson
landing the Big Fish of the day weighing in at
22.3 ounces!
Judy Vonada, Board President for
The Center for Violence-free Relationships was on
hand to say a few words and thank our sponsors
those who came out to support The
Center.
Promoting family fun was what
the derby was about as well as raising funds for
The Center. Lots of families were in
attendance and braved the elements to get the kids
in on the fishing
action.
There were
raffle prizes totaling over $12,000 including 10
guided fishing excursions, lots of fishing poles
and gear and 4 mountain bikes! Even when it
started snowing, everyone stuck around to see if
they would be winners in the raffle. Despite
the weather, everyone had a great time and they
are already looking forward to next year!
Many thanks to Dale Daneman and Dale's Foothill
Fishing, Placerville, CA and all the event
sponsors.
Sponsors: Bliss Electronics
Sales; Bucks Outboard; California Inland Fisheries
Foundations, Inc.(CIFFI); Fisherman's Warehouse;
Fishsniffer; Honda Marine; Ice House Resort; Off
the Hook Fly Shop; Pro Cure; Sacramento Fire
Extinguisher; Sep's Outdoors; Shakespeare Tree
Care Inc.; Western Outdoor News; and many
more!
Article by Julie Sena for any
questions call her at (530)626-1450 or email
Julie! |
| Silver
Lining Gift Club |
|
The Center is offering a special membership
program for you to make a difference in
the lives of the those dealing with
violence.
Like so many of us, The Center certainly has
felt the impact of these challenging economic
times. For many years, our family of
supporters have been incredibly generous and
we know how strong the desire is
to continue to support us. When
times get tough and less money is available, the
need for The Center's services increases.
With this in mind, The Center has
developed the Silver Lining Gift Club, as a way
for you to continue your support with minimal
impact to your budget.
For just $25 a month (less than a dollar a
day) you can provide a silver lining of hope to
victims of domestic violence and sexual
assault. Your monthly contribution will help
us to continue to provide safe shelter,
food and vital needs for our
clients and their children.
Click on the Donate Now button and join
today. Join today and save a life
tomorrow!
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The Center for Violence-free
Relationships is dedicated to building healthy
relationships, families and communities free from
sexual assault and domestic violence through
education, advocacy, and services in western El
Dorado County.
The Center is a nonprofit 501(c)3
organization. All contributions are tax
deductible and vital to continue our
services.
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Domestic Violence
Sexual Assault 24/7 Crisis Help
Line
530-626-1131
916-939-6616 |
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| Support
The Center |
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CENTER'S CALENDAR
June 24-
Graduation of Spring Volunteer
Class
September 9-
Faith Community Partnership
September 11-
Kacie's Ride for Hope
October -Domestic
Violence Awareness Month (DVAM)
November 6 -
27th Annual Auction Gala
December -
Adopt-A-Family
For more information on these
events contact Emma Owens, Program Assistant. Call
530-626-1450 or 916-939-4464 ext 205 or email
Emma _________________________CENTER'S SUPPORT GROUPS
Domestic Violence Support
and Education Groups: Tuesdays 5:30-7:30
pm and Wednesdays 10:00 am - 12:00 pm - FREE,
drop in
AMAC - Adults
Molested As Children Support Group
CAP - Women's
Changing Abusive Patterns
Peace First -
Men's and Women's Workshops on Improving
Relationships
MAAP - Men's
Alternative to Abusive Patterns (English and
Spanish)
For more information on
these groups call 530-626-1131
or
916-939-6616 |
Thanks to your
contributions:
The Center has....
provided 25,000
counseling sessions, provided over
37,000 shelter nights and
answered nearly 60,000 calls to
our crisis line from victims of sexual assault and
domestic violence since
1985. |
|
Domestic Violence
Sexual Assault 24/7 Crisis Help
Line
530-626-1131
916-939-6616 |
|
| Support
The Center |
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